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HAPPINESS: WHEN DID AN EMOTION BECOME A STATE OF BEING ?
1) It is a decision
I remember getting off the bus in elementary school, waving goodbye, and telling the driver, “Have a good day!”, to which she responded, “Make it a good day”. That blew my little mind. It hadn’t really occurred to me that it was my choice. That I could be in control of how my day went. All of the good things and all of the bad things were up to my own interpretation and allowed for my own response.
2) A strategy for carrying through on the decision
So how the heck do we do that? There's no one size fits all, but there are a few things that I've kept in my toolbelt to help myself choose.
3) A state of mind that tells you you’re living effectively according to your decision
When we view happiness and sadness as two ends of the spectrum, giving ourselves one option or the other, we lose sight of the in-between. Happiness is an emotion, not a consistent state of being. Happiness and joy can be experienced in any moment, but they're not guaranteed in every moment. The lows are what allow us to feel the highs. They’re what provide us with that contrast and context we need to be able to identify the good feelings. Deciding to be accountable of our own actions and allowing ourselves to be present in the moment doesn't guarantee happiness, but it's not excluded either.
Sometimes happiness comes from one person, one moment, or one thought that makes the difference. Sometimes, it's just you. Sometimes you’re not happy, but that’s okay. Happiness is an emotion, not a constant state of being. Happiness is making a decision.
And you can make it again. And again. And again.
I recently stumbled upon the book, Brain Power: Learning to Improve your Thinking Skills by Karl Albrecht, and within the first few pages, I found a quote that really struck me.
There’s no denying that these past few years have been crazy. So many things have changed in the world that has so fundamentally altered the way that we move throughout our days. I often find myself forcing much of my energy on trying to achieve this concept of happiness, but rarely do I actually consider it for what it is; a feeling. When did an emotion become a state of being?
Thinking more about the way that Albrecht broke down the concept into those 3 elements started to make it easier to figure out why, exactly, I was approaching it in such a black and white way. I didn't need to alter my path, but instead, I needed to decide to be present in the moments along the way. I needed to choose happiness.
“Being happy is a decision, together with a strategy for carrying through on the decision, and a state of mind that tells you that you’re living effectively according to your decision”
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Ascertain whether or not this feeling or experience will matter to you in 5 minutes? 5 hours? 5 days? 5 months? 5 years?
I recently heard someone say, "If it's out of your hands, it deserves freedom from your mind too". We only have the power to change what we have the power to change.
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Ask yourself, does this serve me?
This sounds so cliché, but I swear there's weight in it! Marie Kondo put it best, "Does this spark joy?". When you're sitting with a feeling, living in a moment, or pursuing an action, if it doesn't serve a positive purpose, decide to let it go.
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Set intentions rather than resolutions
Every New Years' Eve, we all make these resolutions to work out more, eat healthier, or start a new project, but these resolutions are hard and fast goals. Pass or fail. Intentions are broader ideas. They're mindful actions rather than achievable milestones.
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Finding the small things
Drink your favorite tea, watch your favorite show, call up your best friend, pet a dog. Whatever it is that brings you joy, take those small moments and consider them wins.​
Want to learn more about Emelie's approach to filmmaking? Check out her interview, "Learn From the Best: Emelie Flower Director of Photography" on Medium.
Want to hire Emelie to help bring your content to life? Read more about her professional experience on LinkedIn.
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